Homeward bound

We woke to our last day in Thailand after another 11 hour sleep for me, and I felt so much better. We threw back the curtains to the same amazing view that we have had all week. Sun, sea and islands. As I went into the bathroom I noticed we’d had a visitor in the night. A giant dead spider curled up in the bath. How many nights had that been running about in our room? 

Ian had also had some excellent news in an e-mail. His latest traffic violation fight had ended, as usual, in victory. As a family we have a 100% record in these matters and only charge a fraction of the usual fee. Ian does love a fight and he was in a really happy mood all day. 

As we headed to breakfast one of the receptionists was chasing after us calling our name. “You have transport to airport at 5’o’clock? We would like to extend your check out time to 5’o’clock also, instead of 12. Is that OK?”. Too right it’s OK. It’s brilliant. We had already been told that our transport would be the resort S-Class. This means nothing to me but is apparently some swish kind of car. 
At breakfast I managed most of a full Thai English, wasn’t keen on the chicken sausage though. 

Breakfast with a view

We decided to go sit by the pool and relax for a few hours after breakfast, and took the selfie stick with us. 

Ian posing like the Japanese girls do

Free pineapple

After a day in the sun (and a teensy bit of sunburn) we retired to our room to shower and pack. We threw open the doors to let the view in for the last time. And it’s still amazing. Ian repositioned everything meticulously. I just rammed it all in. Job done. We called for our luggage to be collected (Ian said wheel it but I am used to the luxury now) And went up to check out. Wow, the activities co-ordination, had come to wish us goodbye. She wants us to come back next year. Ian went through the bill with a fine tooth comb because, expensive! All was good though so he stumped up, still gleaming with his revoked bus lane fine. A gleaming Mercedes drew up and we jumped in with all the staff bowing and waving to us. What a send off. We loved this hotel. I settled back into the s-class. Nice. Ian, however, wasn’t so happy. “It’s only an E-class” he grumbled. Let’s raise a complaint! Only a few hairy moments later and we were waving goodbye to the smiley driver and checking in at the Etihad desk. A guy in front decided, when his case was on the scales, that he needed to change his shoes. Grrrr. Little things. Phuket airport is small and all about King Power. You can buy anything Leicester City you want her. It’s also right by the sea

Our plane waiting to take us home

The pilot wasn’t hanging about, he left 30mins early, but the ‘cabin crew’ were all a bit surly. Food rubbish as well. I’m not over impressed by Etihad. There was also yet another seat based argument right behind Ian. It involved a little old man and woman, and the wife was going to hold her husbands glasses. Just as I was sighing and expecting a forced landing in some obscure Indian city, it all blew over. We had three hours in Abu Dhabi this time, at 2.45am, before boarding our final flight. Only 7 more hours and we’d be back in sunny Manchester. I was wearing a lovely sundress and flip flops. 30 in Phuket when we left, 34 on the ground in Abu Dhabi at 3am, how bad could Manchester be. This flight was better, apart from the guy just behind Ian who had a really load snore. The staff were a lot friendlier. 

We landed back in the UK at 7.15 am and 10 degrees. We’ve had two weeks of bliss in the most picturesque spots imaginable. Been treated like royalty throughout, and not come across a single unfriendly or miserable Thai person. I looked at Ian and said “Glad to be home?”. “Nah!”

Waterfall

Apart from a couple of toilet breaks we both slept right through till the alarm at 7.30, that’s nearly 12hrs. Alarm you say? We have another short trip planned for today leaving at 9am and as we all know, Ian takes a long time to get ready. We were feeling a little better so decided to try a bit of breakfast. I had some toast and Ian some scrambled eggs. We arrived in the foyer at 5 to 9 to be greeted by Wow, one of the activities co-ordinators. She wanted to know all about our trip yesterday, and to tell us that we were still waiting for another couple. “They are going to be trouble”, whispered Ian. “American I bet” I whispered back. In fact, they were neither. They were a really nice Aussie couple. We jumped in the van with Tuptoe, our guide, Another very bubbly Thai lady who has been to York and Blackpool. She loved York, hated Blackpool. Our visit was to a Gibbon rehabilitation centre that really wasn’t worth getting out of bed for as there was nothing to see. Good job it wasn’t too far. But it also included a walk up to a waterfall, and a swim if you wanted. I’ve seen better waterfalls in England, but not usually so warm. As we mulled over which point to swim in a dark shape moved through the water. “Snake!”. I yelled. Oh how Tuptoe laughed. Her and Ian discussed the English name before deciding it was an eel. Not so sure I want to swim with a snake or an eel. Anyway, we decided to give it a go in a lower pool. “The water is freezing” Tuptoe told us. Actually, it’s quite warm. The Aussie couple declined the swim. Bit of a wasted trip for them.

By the waterfall

In the waterfall

Thank goodness I didn’t come across any of our slithery friends in there. Ian did have to remove a spider from my back as we got out. About half an inch big he said. Seems pretty big to me.

After we were dropped at the hotel we returned to our room and napped. We were still in recovery mode. After our none lunch, because we still didn’t feel up to it, we had our final complementary massage booked. Like everything else at this Hotel the spa is amazing. We both chose a Signiture Como Shambhala massage. A nurturing massage using oil to calm the mind and rejuvenate the body. Well my mind will never be much calmer but I’ll take the rejuvenated body any day of the week. The massage is in the book at 4,125  baht, that’s £103. Each. We were led to changing rooms and asked to put on a towling robe and a nice little pair of black disposable knickers. Then our masseurs took us into the massage room, really nice, and let us smell the oil. “Good for relax and sunburn.” Well I am relaxed and have no sunburn, but it smells nice. All the power through Thai massage must come through the feet, as she gave mine another good going over. I will have the nicest, smoothest feet in England when I get back. I must admit the oils made it though. She wasn’t vicious either. The best massage I have had, although at that price it should be. Calmed and rejuvenated she led us to a balcony over the main pool for our customary ginger tea. There were two small pools out there, with a family with two young children splashing about. “No children in spa” snapped the Shambhala lady. I should think not. We are trying to be calm and have rejuvenated bodies here. Off they tootled leaving us alone with the view. 

On the way back to the room we called for a free popsical, then had another snooze. I think we are working this illness out of our bodies with a combination of oil and sleep. We decided about 5pm that we could maybe try a bit of snap so we went up to the pool and ordered the most expensive burger in the world. Just one. “Shall I cut it in half for you” the lovely waitress asked. “Yes please”. In the end it was really nice and just about all we could manage. 

Waiting for burger. Look at those gorgeous feet!

We sat there till sunset reading, before the mozzies drove us back indoors, and basically to bed. Good job too as the rain started in earnest just after. 

Today was our last full day as we fly home tomorrow, but we do get to have a lie in

Man of the day

These men of the day have been mainly women, and mainly masseuses, And today was no exception

Toilet watch

I looked in the ladies toilets by the restaurant but all the big bucks must have been spent on the men’s as they were nothing special. 7/10

Ian and Jackie are unwell

At last, the day of our long awaited boat trip had arrived. We had gone for a pretty expensive sunset excursion for two reasons. It didn’t start till 12.30, so no early rising needed. And all food was included, so we didn’t need an expensive meal at the hotel. It would barely cost us anything when we looked at it like that. The sun was shining, so no worries about it being cancelled. Only problem was that Ian was sick. He had been feeling queasy all night and wasn’t at his best. I was feeling a little off it but we gamely decided to go for it. We attempted breakfast but couldn’t really force much down then retired to the room where Ian had another nap. At 12.30 we presented ourselves to reception not really feeling like a day out. The minibus that arrived had three people already in it. “How did you get a hotel like this?”, asked the guy, looking around in wonder at our palatial surroundings. I was assuming we would be headed for the posh pier, but it was a different one that we pulled into. There were loads of stalls and loads of other people for the trip. Our hostess, Molly, was a very bubbly Thai girl who led us to our boat, The Passion. We told a guy our name. “Oh, Como Point Yamu, here is your seat”. Our seat was right up at the front. A huge bed like structure with a little table. Behind us the rest of the guests were being herded into small benches. That’s what comes of being from a posh hotel, and probably paying more.

The passion

Our bunk up at the front

Mollie jumped up as we set sail to tell us our itinerary for the day, then it was time for lunch. No thanks. I couldn’t face anything, neither could Ian. We both just laid there slipping in and out of sleep and watching the world go by. After an hour we approached Phang Na Island. James Bond Island number one as the locals call it. I can’t really remember the James Bomd films but you might recognise it. 

Approaching James Bond Island

Here we would do some canoeing round a lagoon. I was very pleased to see that a young man was going to do my canoeing for me. I really couldn’t be bothered. But with him doing all the work it was lovely. 

Do,you recognise the rock?

Back at passion
Next we were supposed to do some swimming but there were too many jelly fish so we headed straight for James Bond Island number 2. I think this one was in Goldfinger maybe. We had to decamp from the Passion to a smaller boat, which involved a lot of jumping across seats. Then we had to do it all again when we landed. Apparently in high season you can hardly move but our boat was the only one there today. We had a look round then a swim. It was an amazing place to swim in, fabulous scenery. 

Back on the feeder boat doing the seat shuffle, then onto the Passion where we could ‘shower’ off the back. Now we would motor home while the sun sets. Mollie set our tea up for us, loads of lovely Thai dishes. No thanks. Couldn’t face a thing. Ian had a little bit though. A couple of people mentioned what a good seat ours was, obviously seething with jealousy. You need a posh hotel. 

Sunset

As we headed back the engine lulled me off to sleep. Ian had a good chat with Mollie who had been a great hostess. The taxi was there to meet us and it was straight back, shower, bed, all by 8pm. 

Man of the day

Molly

Toilet watch

Ian went to the loo near the restaurant at the hotel and reported a 10/10. So good he had to take photos so here you go

The water comes down from the hanging tubes and the cut out guys are mirrors

Shopping

So today we decided to take a taxi into Phuket Town to do some ‘shopping’. 

Another day another amazing view from the picture widows. We lazed around a bit before breakfast. Today I had the pancakes while Ian had his Thai full English

Yes that is a huge dollop of cream

We also had some toast thrown on the fire, and Ian had a bit of honey straight from the hive.

Our taxi was coming at 11am and he was right on time, Another very friendly, very smiley man.

It took about 45 mins to get to the centre, and he dropped us off on the Main Street. We managed to convey between us that he would pick us up same place in 3hrs. Let the ‘shopping’ begin.

Phuket Old Town is really just one main drag with all the shops on it, plus a Buddhist temple. We had a glance at the temple but are old hands now since we’ve been to Sri Lanka. Also it was well guarded and we had shorts on. So we just darted in and out of shops. Everyone was very friendly as usual, and there were a lot more westerners around. 

Ian with some ‘shopping’.

We haven’t found anyone bothering us anywhere else, and it was the same here, except for taxi drivers. They all want to take you somewhere. Luckily I am an expert in blanking them out. Ian is still way too nice and if someone tries to talk to him he engages, usually ending up with a gold watch or a house in Bali. Still, we managed to avoid booking any more taxis. We found a mall with air con and toilets, and Ian found a magnum. 

The lady at the hotel had given us a recommendation for a restaurant so we had a spot of lunch in there. Much to Ian’s delight they had large singha beer!

It was all done out in a colonial style. Very nice. Smiley staff as usual.

At 2.30 we returned to our allotted spot to find the taxi guy waiting. Good lad. He returned us to the hotel and Ian gave him a nice tip. 

We were so sweaty we decided on a swim, and the pool was decidedly busy. I love how you can swim right to the end of the infinity but and see three ways, sea every direction. 

I also did the Hotel wrong yesterday. While furtelling through the wardrobe I found a bag to take to the pool.

We stayed by the pool through happy hour and watched the sun go down. No need for dinner in the restaurant as we had had a large cheap lunch. 

Keep your fingers crossed for tomorrow. We have a boat trip booked

 Man of the day

Our friendly neighbourhood taxi driver

Toilet watch 

The one in the mall was fine. Toilet paper and water and everything we had been led to expect not to expect. 7/10

Sun, sea, sand

We woke and threw back our curtains to the most amazing view from a hotel room I’m ever likely to have. The windows are massive and you can see for miles over the sea and islands.

Our massive windows

There are loads of exciting birds today too. Massive wing span. Ian tells me some are fish eagles and some are Brahminys kites. No snakes.

After a bit we wandered down to breakfast. It was in the same restaurant as we had eaten last night. The doors were flung open and the sun shining in. Once again probably the best hotel breakfast I am likely to have. French toast for me and Thailand’s version of a full English for Ian.

Yes that is a giant block of chocolate!

Ian with his sweet young coconut

Down at the buffet bar there were the usual things, pastries, cheese, noodles etc. Loads and loads of fruits. A block of honey

Look at that!

And you could have toast. Not on one of those tasting machines like the one where Kathy set the Hotel on fire in Paris. Oh no. Something much more special.

Buckets with hot coals in!!

You tell the guy which type of bread and he tosses it on the fire back for you. Wow! Ian had a slice and said it reminded him of when we were little and used to do it on the coal fire with a toasting fork.

View at breakfast. The islands look nice too.

Stuffed, we mosied back to the room to cream and DEET UP, the skin so soft has run out. I have a New bite on my leg, but at least it’s only one and easily dealt with. I packed a bag of essential beach items, that’s one thing this Hotel could do better, no beach bag. Then we arrived in the foyer for our trip to the Beach Club. Because the beach around here is no good for swimming, the hotel has one on a nearby island. To get to it we had to jump in a mini bus which took us to a harbour. If the harbour where we got the boat to Cape Kudu was Rotherham United, this one was Barcelona. Much posher with loads of big yachts bobbing about. We were lead to a gleaming speedboat and told to put our life jackets on. (It had life jackets and we had to use them!)

The ‘club’

It didn’t take long till we docked at the end of a long, wobbly, jetty, made of floating Lego bricks. We staggered along it to land where we were met by smiling people and our mandatory cold towel and flower drink. Cheers! Choose a lounger, any lounger, or even a cabana. We had a look at a cabana up in the trees. It was nice but a bit far from the action down by the beach, so we returned to a shady bed under the trees. 

Cabana with private shower and toilet away from the action?

Lounger close to the action?

Just behind us was a small pool, so we lazed a bit, then had a swim, then lazed a bit more. We were fetched icy water on a regular basis. I can see that at busy times it would be really crowded but today there were maybe 20 people on this private bit of beach. We did have neighbours however. Behind the hedge there was another beach and this one was heaving. Every half hour or so a large boat or catamaran docked and disgorged loads of Chinese people. I began to wonder what was happening behind the hedge. Where were they all going. A small section of sea was cordoned off, shared by both us and them. Their side also had jet skis, banana boats, and paragliding. As we lounged around their side was having the time of their life. Loads of them were in the sea, mostly fully clothed with life jackets on, just lapping it up. They were also venturing onto our side of the beach. There was a rope with ‘private’ behind which they weren’t allowed, but the beach must have been public so they kept venturing along. Every now and then one or two would make a break for it towards our lovely empty loungers and inviting pool, only to be intercepted by our ‘guards’ and tossed out. 

After a while we decided to have a go at what we had really come for. Firstly, the canoe. Life jackets on, obviously, the safety elf is strong in Como Point Yamu. Our friendly guards readied it, and we were off. Great. I was in front so set the pace, ian was struggling to keep up, but we managed a couple of circuits. And from the sea I could see around the hedge. There were loads of tents set up, filled with loads of people. I was feeling a bit guilty about our side being so empty. Anyway, canoe mastered we beached ourselves.

Next, the big one, stand up paddle board. “Any instructions?” Ian asked the bouncer. “Well, just knee up, then stand up.” . Right, will do. Ian went first and while they were faffing getting me a board I got my phone. And he was up, yayyyyy!

He’s up!

He’s off.

“It’s too shallow, there are rocks” he shouted across. Well, of course, after that I couldn’t stand, so I just scootled about on my knees for a bit. I think I did Ok. Although steering was a bit of a problem and I did almost run over a couple of the helpless Chinese that were thrashing about. Unfortunately Ian couldn’t get any photographic evidence. I’ll have to have Another go somewhere deeper.

After the fun we decided to get some lunch. Just behind our lounger was a lovely outdoor restaurant so we didn’t have to walk too far. We ordered the crab salad and beer. Just us in there of course. The waiter and other staff were really chatty. Everyone loves it when you tell them you come from near Manchester. “Ah, Manchester United!” Ian regaled them with tales of the number of different types of beer in England. They loved it. 

As we were eating a Chinese guy came along the beach and started taking photos. The guard rushed over, stuck his hand over the mans camera, and said sternly, “No photo”. Harry and Meghan eat your hearts out. 

We could return to the hotel at 3 or 4, we chose 4 and most of the others chose 3. That left just us on the beach and a group in a cabana. Eventually the speedboat came back for us and we staggered along the Lego jetty. We had had great fun at the private beach club.

Back at the hotel I had a go in the bath. We discovered that you can open the blinds in the bathroom and look out to sea. Around sunset we went up to the pool to look at the view.

One of the few perks we get at this hotel is a sunset cocktail each, so we had ours while watching the sunset. Unfortunately The mozzies forced us indoors. Just us in the bar.

Sunset cocktails, dried fish and beetroot crisps

Ian had had some good news workwise that morning so we treated ourselves to the worlds second most expensive pizza, after the time Asda tried to charge me £100 for one. The food here is not cheap. They do have their own massive pizza oven though (of course they do) and it was delicious pizza. 

Now back to the bar for two Jack Daniels in happy hour, the price of Brandy is through the roof.

Man of the day

Our fabulous guard/bouncer/waiter/board instructer who kept the riffraff away

Toilet watch

The one on the island was nice, it had gaps through the floorboard and water from the shower just ran through. 7/10