Relax with massage

I forgot to say that it is hot here. Today, for instance, the temp has been 33 degrees from the time we left for breakfast till sunset at 6.41. It’s also very humid, so we are just sat there and then all of a sudden we are soaked. No matter. We don’t have to do anything.

Neither of us had too good a Nights sleep, we put it down to jet lag. Never mind, we have nothing to do today. Nothing except our complementary head and neck massage at 3pm that is. I am a little nervous about this as I haven’t had a massage since my 40th birthday and am not sure what to expect. (I’m not counting the hand massage I had a couple of years ago). But first we have to rouse ourselves for breakfast. 9.30am is an appropriate time when on a relaxing holiday I feel. It was a bit busier today, probably one or two new couples. We took a beachfront table as usual. Ian had eggs benedict and I had blueberry pancakes.

There’s the sea, just past the beach settees.

At this point Ian’s new, reflective sunglasses came into play. “Table behind you” he whispered. “Two girls in their PJs”. No chance of spinning round to view this startling development, but I could stare into his shaded eyes. And yes! Both were, indeed, wearing the Kung foo Jama’s. Obviously got up really late and didn’t want to miss breakfast.

Satiated, we strolled back to the Deluxe Pool Villa to find the maid had just arrived.

While she tidied, made the bed to within an inch of its life, arranged the curtains, folded our clothes etc, we swam in our private pool and just relaxed. 

Every so often the sweat begins to pour. Into the pool we go. Etc, etc. Boy is it hot. 

Think I’ll nip down to the pool for a swim

That was hard work, I need a rest on my day bed

At breakfast I had brazenly stolen some fruit as our complementary fruit bowl had not been replenished yesterday. Today, the maid had filled it up, so as well as the stolen stuff we had a fruit banquet for lunch. 

After lazing and lunch it was massage time. We crossed the road, helped by the man in the box of course, and entered the serene spa area. After lots of bowing and smiles we were shown to some chairs and offered some purple flower tea. We also had to fill in a form. This form detailed every area of our lives from medical history, stress and pain levels, happiness, healthiness, etc. Plus the most important question. Massage level. Light, medium, strong. I, never having had a massage, opted for light. Ian had to go one better and get medium. Mwwwahahahaha.

One of the most embarrassing things of my whole life, just below the Gary Peel fish/verruca pump incident, happened next. Two ladies appeared, one slim, young, about as heavy as Heather, and one slim, old, about the same weight. They bowed and led us into a darkened room with two chairs and two massage beds. We both sat down, the young one taking Ian (Mwwwwahahahaha) and the older lady took me. I didn’t know what would happen till it was too late. She drew a bowl of water full of lilies out from under the chair and indicated I should put my feet in. She then began to wash them, with her bare hands! My girls will know why this is so embarrassing and will be in fits of laughter right now. My feet are THE worst in the world. They are gnarled, have bunions, fungus, and I have  cloven hooves. Poor woman. She baulked a little at the bunion, but carried on gamefully till they were clean. Then she rubbed them down with salt. What a woman. Next we had to strip to the waist and lie on the massage bed face down. Bear in mind this is a head and shoulder massage. My old lady kicked my legs apart, leapt up onto the bed between them and began to massage up my legs. Ian’s young thing leapt on his bed and walked up his calves! My old lady then leapt off and began massaging up my back to my neck where she gave it a thorough rough kneading. It was probably as hard a massage as I’m ever going to want. Meanwhile, Ian’s girl knelt on his lower back and dug her elbows into his neck really, really ,hard (he says). Neck torture over we had to turn onto our backs where my lady did some sort of rubbing of my face and head. Not too unpleasant. Ian’s girl dug her fingers into his head then slapped it a few times. (Something I often dream of). Now we had to sit up and I got another neck massage and a few pats on the back. As I looked across I could see Ian’s girl sat behind him whacking his back. She was really putting some oomph into it. Massage over. “How do you feel”. “Pummelled” was Ian’s reply. I was too busy trying not to laugh. We were offered ginger tea afterward and then went on our way. “What did you think”. I said. “I’m never having a bloody medium massage again!” Was his reply. 

It was getting a little cloudy so we decided to walk on the beach. The beach guard waved as we passed. We waved back. We went left and walked all the way down to the end. We met four people in total. We also saw loads of tiny crabs that ran really fast. The crab army. 

We crossed a couple of sewage outlets. Ian always likes to involve sewage if he takes me out. There was one other hotel/apartment block right at the end. But no cafes or restaurants etc. We are going to go the other way tomorrow. Back at the hotel we sat on the beach settees and ordered two beers. Unbeknownst to us it was happy hour. Yay. 

Some people were in the sea on body boards despite the red flag and beach patrol man. It was the Japanese family from the infinity pool yesterday. They were having great fun so Ian decided to go in as well. I didn’t have my cozzie on so couldn’t. He then went for a splash in the infinity pool. Just him.

We changed and tried the other restaurant for tea. I had Thai Green curry and Ian king prawn special. It was nice but not as nice as the beach one. The air was very heavy. I reckon rain is coming.

Man of the day

She was only a girl but boy did she pack a punch. Ian’s masseuse.

Toilet watch

Ian went into a toilet by the restaurant. It was fine. 7/10